By Kevin “Coach” Collins
As a public service The 57 State Doofus Report will appear here as new items from our teleprompter president provide them. This material comes from The Ulsterman Report.
The Potemkin presidency has produced another unsurprising “surprise.” According to the buzz in Washington political insider circles Barack Obama’s “spontaneous” rendition of an old Al Green Soul hit “Let’s stay together” was “rehearsed to death.” It is not clear whether the Doofus in Chief used a teleprompter but he did use a cue card and the whole staged event was arranged because Obama is trying to be “cool” again. Being “cool” translates into getting the halfwits in or colleges to vote for him so he’ll cancel their student loans – yes these simpletons actually believe that!
Searching for his lost “cool”
UR quotes Obama as saying he wants to be cool again as he was in 2008. Specifically he was overheard saying “Like in ’08. We were the S*^t back in ’08.” It is reportedly so bizarrely embarrassing to some of the younger White House staffers that they joke behind Obama’s back and ask each other “Are we cool again?” The report goes on to reveal the White House brought in a voice coach and the obsessed Obama spent more time working to regain his “s*^t” than he did on any of his actual duties – you know like running the country keeping us safe from terrorist and golfing (sorry I couldn’t resist).
Even when Obama “spontaneously belted out” the few words of “Let’s stay together”, he had to use a cue card. That says, “NOT SPONTANEOUS – REHEASHED!” all over it.
Ulsterman’s report continues by saying that Obama campaign operatives sent the video to the lapdog media (likely put it up on Youtube as well) and stationed “about 40 or 50 people in the crowd who had been instructed to “cheer loudly” when the Doofus in Chief sang.
Playing his “I’m still the s^*t” part to the hilt, Obama can be seen in the video gratefully acknowledging the “spontaneous” cheers at the end of this cue card aided “spontaneous” event.
To contact your Congressional Representative use this link: http://www.contactingthecongress.org/
To read more use this link:
http://theulstermanreport.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6uHR90Sq6k
Have you answered this week’s CiR.com poll?
“Don’t miss our new 3 minute “audiotorial” produced by Without a Helmet: On the Line with Emmett & Wiley. Hear it now by clicking the play button on their logo on the lower right of my homepage!
This day in history Feb 7
1962: United States bans imports from Cuba. Yes it has been that long.
In this world you may have knowledge or you may have repose, but you may not have both.
What have you done today to deserve to live in America?
Comments on this or any other coachisright.com essay can be sent by following the posting instructions below.


And when O had his media studio installed at the WH, we were all wondering what he planned on doing with it. Staged and rehearsed news speeches with audiences was really not my first guess. I wonder if he's got his martial law one all ready to go?
I don't even think the deep thinkers over at Free Republic take Ulsterman seriously anymore. They've banned any Ulsterman reports from their site.
You really believe Ulsterman, Chris? With his reputation? You really think that someone was holding a cue card for a lyric that the President repeats to the First Lady all the time?
So you REALLY believe the Doofus in Chief wouldn’t use a teleprompter to – say address school children – right? Watch the video and see him using a cue card for seven words.
Coach
Spontaneity is a very dangerous application for someone like Obama. The truth is far too likely to accidentally come out when Hussein hasn't practiced all the right lies and phony sentiments. Remember "spreading the wealth" with Joe the plumber?
Hello,
This just in to the presses. The "O"–Dummy ONE has just lost his best friend—NO not BO the dog. poor dog, I am speaking about "LITTLE" Miss Telly the tel-Prompter. She just went on strike, she stated, and I quote here for all the media numb-nuts. SHE IS TIRED, AND FED-UP HEARING THIS SO-CALLED PRESIDENT, AND THIS SO-CALLED SMART MAN SAYING UHHH UHHH UHHH SO MUCH. SHE SAID AND AGAIN I QUOTE, EVEN "DIRTY" HARRY REID IS ABLE TO TALK LIKE THAT. SHE SAYS SHE WILL NOT RETURN TO THE WHITE-HOUSE UNTIL THIS SO-CALLED PRESIDENT IS GONE.