By Kevin “Coach” Collins
Secretary of Hillary Clinton’s suspicious, self-diagnosed “concussion” presents some interesting possibilities. She claims she fainted, fell and struck her head hard enough to have sustained the “concussion” which she is now relying upon to avoid having to lie about her part in the Benghazi cover up during a Congressional hearing. To her adoring media this story presents not a moment of skepticism but another chance to marvel at how skillfully the Clintons lie.
That Hillary did not seek or receive medical attention for such a serious injury as a concussion; (especially for an obese 65 year old woman) means little to her legion of media bootlickers. Nevertheless she will at some point have to either continue her ruse as a mentally incapacitated old woman – perhaps showing up at a hearing in a bath robe like Mafia boss Vincent “The Chin” Gigante, or testify as the rotund, 65 year old woman she really is. The “bath robe” trick didn’t work for Gigante but it might work for Clinton.
Unfortunately there isn’t a Republican in the House with the courage to tie her tail in a knot by subpoenaing her every 30 days until she comes in–with or without her bath robe. Hillary will waddle away from the Benghazi murders and Republicans will hold the door for her as she does.
Yet there is the remote possibility that she actually did suffer a concussion which is brain damage resulting from having one’s gray matter slammed up against the hard surface of the skull. They would desperately work to shield her from the voting public claiming that since she was going to be elected anyway she should not have to waste time campaigning, but rather start immediately to do the “work of the American people” as soon as she was nominated. If this is the case, Democrats will have to adopt the “Woodrow Wilson/Edith Wilson” stunt.
In October of 1919, while sitting on the toilet, Wilson had a stroke which was immediately covered up by the Democrats. THEY appointed Edith Wilson the de facto president. She made presidential decisions for the last year and a half of Wilson’s second term. When the clods in the Republican Party got suspicious the Democrats put on a show for them. As the story goes, Democrats “fooled” a delegation of Republicans who “demanded” to see Wilson so they could judge his capabilities to govern. In a scene suggestive of “Weekend at Bernie’s” Democrats propped up the vegetative Wilson in his bed and spread a series of newspapers around him making believe he was “carefully studying” the events of the day. The Republicans were either too dimwitted to know the difference between a functioning president and a bag of non-communicative bones or they were paid off and went away quietly.
My guess is that by August Hillary will be out on a golf course with Bill trying to prove she is not an obese 65 year old, worn out woman. She will be all whispers and giggles with her loving husband, ready to be crowned America’s first female president. Her appearance will not change. She will still be an obese, 65 year old, worn out woman, but in the eyes of her adoring fans she will look like Jackie Kennedy incarnate.